The Menopause Survival Guide for Thanksgiving

It is the Sunday before Thanksgiving.
You should be resting.

But you are not.

You still have work to wrap up.
Emails to answer.
Charts to finish.

One more meeting “before the holiday.”

The family is already texting flight details.
“Can we come a day early?”
“Do you mind if we bring a friend?”

You are cleaning guest rooms.

Planning meals.
Figuring out who is sleeping where.

Your out of office message might be on.
But you are not off.

Everyone is gearing up for a “break.”
You are gearing up for more work.

You’d rather just be off. But everyone still expects you to be.

The hostess.
The organizer.
The therapist.

Because you are the one.

The one who knows which cousin hates onions.

The one who remembers every side dish.

The one who keeps the peace at the table.

On the outside you look “together.”
On the inside your body is falling apart.

Here is why it feels so intense.

Your hormones are shifting.
Estrogen and progesterone are not steady anymore.

That affects your brain, your sleep, your mood, your joints, your temperature control.

Your nervous system is on high alert.

Crowded rooms. Noise. Opinions.
All of it hits harder when your stress system is already revved up.

So no.
You are not “too sensitive.”
Your physiology has changed.
And holidays expose every weak spot.

This is what happens when Thanksgiving meets perimenopause and menopause.

Most women are told to power through this season.
To be grateful.
To stop complaining.

The message is clear. Swallow your feelings. Smile for the picture.

I want you to do the opposite. So you do not flip out. 

Here is my best advice.

1 / Decide what you are not doing.

Pick two or three things you are taking off your plate.

Maybe you do not cook every side.
Maybe you do not stay for every conversation.
Maybe you do not clean the whole house by yourself.

And you are not debating it.
Decide today what you are not doing IN ADVANCE.

2 / Say the quiet part out loud.

Tell the people.

“I am having hot flashes, I am going to sit down for a bit.”

You are not being dramatic. 

You are telling the truth.

3 / Set a drama limit.

You do not have to sit through a three hour debate about politics with your uncle.

You do not have to engage with in-laws who comment on everything.

You can simply say.
“I am stepping away from this conversation.”

Then actually step away.

If they are mad. That is ok.  They will get over it.

This is not the year to be everyone’s emotional support human.
This is the year you protect your sanity.

If you get through the day without cussing out your uncle.
Without dragging your sister in law in a group text.
Without crying in the pantry.

That is a win.

This is the last year you blame yourself for “not handling it better.”

From here on.
You stop calling it weakness.
You start calling it what it is.

A different season for you.

And you deserve support that fits this season.
No shame for not surviving the old one.

Any of this hit home.
Reply and tell me.
I read every message.

Happy Thanksgiving, ladies.

See you next Sunday.

Dr. Beckford

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